Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
