I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
