He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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