I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
