3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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