She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
