in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
