he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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