he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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