I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
