Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
