im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
