I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
