allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
