ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She told me I should be a condom model.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
