did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
