last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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