Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
