ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
