I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
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