Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
