he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
