you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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