What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
