dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have fence marks all over my body
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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