I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
