i will never coherently bang her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
