is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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