We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im holly from the hills drunk
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
