I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
