Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
