Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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