yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
