you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
