I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Boobs speak an international language.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
