I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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