This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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