i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
