This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
