when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
