you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
