did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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