The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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