i think my mom watched the whole time
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
