Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Everything about him screamed your future.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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