I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
