she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
