please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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