Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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