she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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